How Can I Thank God When my Son is Dead?

How can I thank God when my son is dead? 

That thought alone sets off an explosion in my head!

It  Can’t be done!” Reason explains.

He is Dead. You are dead. The world is dead. There is no point.

Give up while the choice is still yours!

Can I say it any bigger, any bolder?

Just dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Why am I even going on?

The fact is true as the sky is blue. My son is gone; There can be no thanks in that!

And yet …

Before my son died,

I lingered in bed when the sun kissed my cheek through the window.

My mouth watered in anticipation of a warm chocolate chip cookie.

My heart delighted in silly bantering with my husband  – who is right and who is wrong?

I looked forward to meals alongside my kids,

and their kids,

and their dog-kids.

I loved the sound of rain, especially when I was falling asleep.

Then… I thanked God for every enjoyable blessing.

Of course,

… then, it made sense.

And yet …

After my son died,

I still linger, anticipate, delight, banter, look forward to things, and love.

I am not dead. The world is not dead.

I am alive and creation still thrives with sun and rain and kids, and their kids, and their dog-kids.

And so, even if it makes no sense, I can thank God, even … now.

The choice is definitely mine.

So I choose.

And…

Before my son died,

I loved my son with a deep, sacrificial love – the kind that warmed, and hurt, and forgave, and forgave, and forgave.

After my son died:

I still love my son with a deep and sacrificial love – only now it aches to hug, and hug, and hug. So I do. I hug, and hug, and hug others who need those hugs like my son needed them.

There is a point. A particular point.

I remember how he reveled over  a good barbeque,

a big jump in the pool,

a chill time at the bonfire,

and especially a spirited wrestle with his brother.

His smirky-grin dances in my memory and stitches a stitch in my broken heart.

Stitch by stitch. Stitch by stitch.

All this, a very profitable, particular point; Healing one stitch at a time.

The sun rises, the sun sets.

There is rhyme and there is reason.

“It Can be done!” I say.

There is no if, and, or but.

Joy reaches it’s potential when Sorrow is known in the gut, way down deep…. you can’t appreciate the good without knowing fully, the bad.

This is why I go on.

God is still God, and merciful, and compassionate, and powerful, and the same as He has always been.

God allowed for His own Son to die,

so that mine might live...

not just in my memory, or in my heart, but in heaven eternally.

Yes,

so I thank God for that! 

How can I thank God when my son is dead?

This is how.

Love.

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May you, dear reader, find Joy in abundance this Thanksgiving!

This is as big and as bold as it gets.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All Lives Matter for Two Reasons

The truth is… ALL LIVES MATTER.

All lives matter for two reasons:

#1. … because, as I believe, God created each of us in His image, and because of this fact, each one of us is a precious individual worthy of respect and love, no matter what we have, or have not done in life. To discredit, or look down on anyone with disdain is an affront to God himself as the Creator of all life.

#2. … because, I believe, everyone has a purpose; God creates and places everyone in the line of history for His purposes.  Our stories involve the ups and downs of life that includes both victories and wounds from the battles we fight, for the purpose of coming alongside one another to be the voice of praise or the arms of comfort of the Lord himself.

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This is why I do what I do.  I write and speak out about issues that affect us all as human beings created in God’s image.  I advocate for the erasing of stigma that causes people to misjudge and misinterpret the situations of another one’s life, especially those suffering in battles that are overwhelming and consuming.

I asked God to help me to see those around me as He sees them; in my heart, this is what He revealed to me:

All lives matter. 

Go and live like you understand that, so that my love may be known.

Dear Reader:

Will you join me and be an advocate for every human life?

Help me define what that looks like….

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“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” John 13:34